My Approach
I draw on many evidence-based therapies and techniques:
- Brené Brown's The Daring Way™, a shame-resilience model
- Systemic Therapy
- Humanistic Therapy
- Neuroscience & Psychoneuroendocrinology
- Emotionally-Focussed Therapy
- Compassion and Self-Compassion techniques
- Mindfulness techniques
- Conscious Parenting, Connected Parenting, Choice Parenting & Wholehearted Parenting
- Unresolved Emotional Trauma Focussed approaches
- Acceptance & Commitment Therapy
- Psychodynamic Therapy
- Cognitive & Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
And more...
When I meet you, I will integrate my knowledge of all of these models and techniques, to create a unique holistic psychology service, that makes sense for you.
I focus on getting to the root cause of your difficulties
Whether you (and/or your child) have a diagnosis of a mental health condition, or not, you are very welcome to access the services I offer. Whether a mental health diagnosis is currently impacting you or your family or not, I will target my interventions on the emotional experiences underlying your concerns, and how you've been related to throughout your life, when you have experienced them - The feelings of sadness, shame, disappointment, happiness, joy, disgust, fear, anger, etc.
This approach can take us deeper than 'symptom reduction', to the possibility of real behaviour change, and deep healing,
for optimal and sustainable emotional health - And towards a meaningful, purposeful life of thriving and flourishing,
and more love, joy, intimacy, connection and trust.
Prioritising the demystifying of psychological concepts
& empowering you with knowledge
Right off the bat, I'm going to let you in on a little known psychological secret:
It is not our feelings or emotions themselves that keep us trapped and suffering - It is our resistance to our emotions.
And why do we resist them?
We simply sense that we 'should not feel how we feel' - That we 'should be coping better', or that we 'should pull ourselves together', or at the very least we should look as if we have it together, from the outside - Especially since everyone else we know seems to be coping better than we are ... Does this sound familiar?
So most of us try to outrun, or correct, or numb our emotions ... By keeping so busy that there is no time to think, or taking the edge off a bad day with a beer or wine (or anti-depressants, chocolate, shopping or exercise, etc.), or by simply 'sucking it all up' and telling ourselves to keep hiding how we are really feeling.
And of course these strategies seem to work, for a little while each time, in little ways ...But this is a trick.
Eventually, if we rely on these quick-fix strategies for any length of time, then we hit brick wall -
We burnout, we breakdown, we start getting physically sick, etc.
And even before we hit that wall - We are aware that deep down we STILL feel we are not coping, despite our best efforts - We STILL feel emotional, or empty. Or we STILL feel that we are failing in life, or we STILL feel disconnected from our life and the people in it ...
Why do we do all this if we still end up suffering? Well, its actually very understandable: All of us - implicitly and explicitly, consistently and repeatedly - Have received the message that we have to "Keep Calm and Carry On", throughout our lives.
For example, the vast majority of us have been told: "Don't be sad", when we have cried. Or we've been told: "There is nothing to be worried about" when we are feeling fearful or anxious. Even traditional mental health services have colluded with the idea that emotional expression is 'wrong' or 'bad' - They have for too long placed the focus on the individual to change who they are, or at the very least have focussed on trying to help them feel less negative emotion. And so we get stuck in this vicious cycle by this trick of our psychology - Any short term relief we feel from our emotions always ends up leading us towards long term suffering.
When we try to seek quick relief from our emotions, our very normal and very valid emotional needs continue to go unmet -
And we begin to feel powerless ... and further away from living life we way we would love to ...
and further away from the people we love the most ... and most importantly:
We feel further away from ourselves - Further from the person we sense we really truly are, underneath all of the pretending.
Which of course all then fuels more negative emotion, and the vicious cycle just grows in strength.
I offer a different approach, with more hope, and more potential
I have undergone specialist training in working with these misleading ideas - That we 'shouldn't feel what we feel', and that we 'should be coping better' - And in particular I have expertise in understanding how these ideas have been shaped by the relationships we have all experienced throughout our life. And I can educate and inform you in these ways too:
Learning how YOUR relationships have shaped your emotional expression,
will UNLOCK your sense of agency in your life,
and will return to you a sense of EMPOWERMENT -
To enable you to OVERCOME YOUR SUFFERING
And LIVE THE LIFE that YOU ARE MEANT TO LIVE
I pay attention to your holistic health
Scientific research is now reliably telling us that the mind, body and soul are inextricably connected, for all of us. There is now evidence that looking after our mental and emotional health has a knock-on positive impact on our physical health, and vice versa.
I have extensive expertise in working with the overlap between physical and emotional health. Whatever your reason for wishing to work with me - Together we can explore how my psychological support can impact on the emotional and physical health of you and your family.
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