You’re Not Too Much: For the Anxious, Sensitive, Caring Woman Ready to Heal - Reflections from a specialist therapist for highly sensitive women.

Finding the right therapist can feel daunting — especially when you’ve already spent so much time trying to manage things on your own. You might worry about opening up, about being “too much,” or about whether someone will really understand you. If that sounds familiar, I’ve written this to help you get a sense of which clients tend to get the most from working with me — and to help you see if we might be a good fit, for your own needs.

In my work as a specialist therapist for highly sensitive women, I often meet women who feel anxious, overwhelmed, or disconnected — yet they can’t quite understand why. If this sounds familiar, you may find something here that speaks to you too.

If you can see aspects of yourself, below, then I am likely to be a good fit for you too:  

To be a good fit for me, you are likely to be a woman, who identifies with feeling more anxiety than you believe you should feel, and who feels lost, stuck or perhaps just that things were never meant to feel this hard. 

You're likely to be a highly sensitive soul and feel your emotions deeply - However, you're also likely to frequently hide or downplay this aspect of yourself, as you've been reprimanded for being 'too intense' at times, or have felt that your big feelings have not been welcome or supported in many situations.

​You may also be experiencing any of the following, on top of (or hidden underneath of) anxiety : Intense stress, depression, low mood, guilt & shame, overwhelm or burnout, imposter syndrome, grief, rage, or trauma. 

In relationships you often stay silent about your disappointments and frustrations, for fear of 'rocking the boat', and you often find yourself saying 'yes', when really, deep down, you actually would love to say 'no'. 

You were raised to be 'the good girl' and you are often keen to please everyone and seek their approval, so 'rocking the boat' in any way always feels too scary. This also means you try to manage all your worries on your own - you ruminate often, with worries swirling around in your mind all day, you find it hard to relax, and you may even be kept awake at night with your anxieties. 

You are likely to be an excellent carer for others - very probably you had experience of this early, either caring for siblings or even caring emotionally or physically for your parents - Yet despite this extensive practice of caring, you constantly worry that you are never doing "enough" for others, or never getting it right.

In your caring for others, you probably also tend to push your own needs to the bottom of the pile - you end most days exhausted, and you might be vaguely aware that you've not eaten properly, nor drank enough water, nor have you rested your mind or body, for even a moment, for the whole day.  

​You have very probably read ALL the books & listened to the podcasts - You know that self-care is important, that you need to set boundaries, and you need to rest more. But every single time you try to do any of this, you are plagued by guilt, and a sense that you are neglecting what you 'should' be doing, and so you only ever dabble in self-care, or you try to 'buy in' self-care that doesn't take up too much time - supplements, a bottle of wine, new clothes to make you feel good, bio-hacks, etc. So you end up spending loads of money, and yet never really end up feeling any more free from stress, anxiety or guilt ... But there is another way, I promise - this is what the therapy I offer can help you discover.

You may also be going through the perimenopause or menopause transition, which often comes with increased anxiety, irritability, rage, a sense of feeling 'lost', relationship changes, identity changes, a feeling that your body is betraying you with seemingly hundreds of random symptoms & ailments, and/or grief. This transition is deeply misunderstood within our patriarchal society - seeking support, while in the transition, can bring you so much peace, healing and thriving at this time of your life. 

Very importantly, you are also likely to have some level of safety, comfort & privilege in this world - Your unique constellation of privilege may look different to mine, of course, and I welcome enquires from people of all cultural, racial, and socioeconomic backgrounds, as well as from people of all ability-levels, sexual preference or gender identity.

This important point regarding your intersections of privilege is this: To engage in effective therapy with me you will need some relational safety, financial & time privilege at this point in your life. For example: Some close relationships that feel safe & supportive, as well as financial security and flexible-enough time, week-to-week, to consistently & reliably invest in your therapy (which will be absolutely more clinically effective, and cost effective, if you engage in it weekly). 

If you're feeling any of this, you are absolutely not alone.

​Finally, while I do offer a coaching model that absolutely has its benefits, it is also true that the clients who get the most out of working with me are those who feel ready, in their bones. Ready to commit to therapy - ready to go deeper than CBT can take them, or counselling. Ready in invest in their emotional health and healing in a profound way, for themselves and for their children. Most have experienced useful therapy in the past, but now  you feel ready to go deeper - to really do the emotional work. To truly transform - you are no longer focussed on short-term hacks, or strategies - you want to truly evolve, grow, develop and reconnect, for the long-term future, with a solid connection to your own intuition and sense of your self-worth. 

And, if you're also a mother: 

If you're a mother, you're likely to be an emotional cycle-breaking parent - wanting to provide your child with the emotional acknowledgement, validation and support that you sense you didn't receive as a child yourself - but you're finding this harder than you ever imagined. ​

You also probably don't want to pass on your unconfident, fearful way of relating to the world, to your children, but you worry all the time that you are doing just that, despite your best efforts.

You may also feel heartbroken that motherhood feels as hard as it does for you, which makes you worry that perhaps you were not as cut-out for it as you imagined - Please know, that if this is you, you are absolutely not alone with these thoughts and worries. 

Perhaps your child has some unique physical, or emotional needs, or some unique needs associated with neurodivergence - This will absolutely make your mothering journey harder than you ever imagined it would be, and it will increase your anxiety - both about your child's development, and about your role as their mother. 

Despite trying to 'be everything for everyone', you're also likely to have some feminist vibrations running through you - For example, you may frequently find yourself frustrated with the division of labour in your home, and want your partner to pick up more of the load, yet you are unsure how best to broach this with them, or perhaps you immediately worry that you're 'asking too much', when you do.​​

Again - If you're feeling any of this, you are absolutely not alone.

And things can begin to feel very different for you - please do get in touch to find out how I can help you, it will be pleasure to hear from you.

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I'm Dr. Jenny Turner, Clinical Psychologist, Mum and founder of Mind Body Soul Psychology - a specialist, trauma-informed, private psychology service for women.

I can help you at any stage of your life journey - whether you need support to enter adulthood, navigate perimenopause, heal from trauma, finally transform your relationship to your own anxieties, shame, guilt, rage and/or overwhelm - I can support you to enrich your life & relationships.

I offer online appointments to women based all over the UK, and I offer in-person appointments in Ripon, North Yorkshire - click here to find out more: www.mindbodysoulpsychology.co.uk

You might also like to follow me on Instagram, @drjennypsychologist , or perhaps you'd like to recence regular doses of solidarity and compassion right into your inbox? If so, you can sign up here to my Substack newsletter for regular moments of solidarity in the challenges of being a woman in this patrirachl world, as well as compassion & inspirations for guilt-free self-care - so we can all stay resourced for the experiences we're navigating, and fights we're facing.