The most common, and most destructive emotion, that all of the women I work with (and me too)
experience is: SHAME.
Often we call it 'anxiety', or maybe 'guilt', but its real name is shame, and we all feel it - often.
Shame is particularly prevalent in our experiences of so many experiences in our lives as women, and in so many of the transitions we navigate too - particularly the ones that people don't talk about honestly, with their whole authentic truth of the experience... Divorce, illness, death, trauma, motherhood, perimenopause, and disabilities, including neurodivergence, are often only talked about in parts - the good bits can be talked about, but the painful aspects must be kept silent.
Except it is not true that we need to keep silent about what feels very hard and painful - that silence is actually the result of our shame, and then that silence and shame then grow exponentially together, to cause so much more suffering than any of our life-experiences themselves ever could.
This is why I've trained to facilitate Brené Brown's shame-resilience model, and why I use it every day in my own life, and why I use it in every single session I offer my clients. We don't have to get stuck in shame - we can learn to navigate through our shame, with greater courage, self-compassion, enhanced connections and with a voice that feels more confident to speak our whole authentic truth, and live in a way that feels authentic to our unique self, and our needs.
But this isn't easy work - to lean into vulnerability, to turn and face your shame - that voice that says you are 'never enough', or questions how you dare to try to prioritise your choices, your rest, your joy.
It can be terrifying to turn towards our shame & vulnerability - Both vulnerability and shame commonly generate such uncomfortable feelings within us that we subconsciously run from them, each time they arise, even when we have conscious intentions to face them head on. Maybe you've found this yourself - having read Brené's books, and loved them, yet still finding it hard to put any of her words into real practice, in your life.
This is why Brené built her therapeutic model called The Daring Way™ - To train professionals to support people to go from just reading about this work, to getting this work into their bones.
I trained, in the USA, with Brené's company, in 2019, to offer this model to my own clients. I am the only Clinical Psychologist based in the UK to be trained as a Daring Way™ facilitator.
It has changed my own life to embed this wisdom into my bones - I have actively used this shame-resilience model every single day, since I trained in it in 2019, to help me navigate through my shame (in motherhood, in perimenopause, in discovering I am neurodivergent in my 40's, etc.), without spiralling or getting stuck.
In parenting, in my relationship, in friendships, on social media - the shame traps are everywhere in our lives. Using this model helps me spot quickly when I'm stuck in one, and it helps me extricate myself from that trap with self-compassion and a solid sense of my self-worth.
It is not an exaggeration to say that this model has transformed my mental health and my whole life.
If you have to listen to any of the podcasts I've recorded, you will hear me talk about my shame-resilience practice - there is not a single aspect of my life that it has not touched, for the better - setting boundaries, saying 'no', standing confidently in my parenting decisions (even they go against the grain), developing confidence to be creative and speak my truth, being able to safely navigate the shame minefield that is scrolling on social media (that is, scrolling without ending up feeling terrible about myself or my parenting). These are just some ways in which my life has been transformed with this model.
Shame-resilience has also changed the lives of the clients I have worked with since too - And I wholeheartedly believe it can change your life too.
I integrate this model into every single therapy session that I offer. It is foundational to the healing opportunities that I offer my clients.
When you work with me, you will get access to exclusive Brené Brown workbooks, content and expertise, to transform your vulnerability and shame into courage, compassion and connection.
You too can learn to Dare Greatly, and Rise Strong, just like Brené, and just like me.
